Do you give up your seat on the train? The lesson for inclusion…
I was on a crowded train recently when an elderly woman boarded and tried to make her way towards the ‘priority seats’. These are the seats under the sign that reads “On request these seats must be vacated for use by passengers with special needs*”
On this occasion the able-bodied, young male and female sitting on these seats looked up from their mobile devices and each other numerous times, but conveniently ignored the visibly elderly woman now facing them.
Now – they could argue that ‘she didn’t ask’; ‘I would have got up if she’d asked!’ but she didn’t.
This to me is the same place we’re going wrong with inclusion. As long as the onus is on the individual to ask, rather than those around to offer – or invite – we’re fighting an uphill battle.
In a work context, I’ve frequently heard people say “I’m comfortable for people to challenge me”. This infers that one can put forward their view and it is up to others to find the moment and courage to challenge or put an alternative perspective forward.
This is vastly different from someone inviting a different view, and then indeed, listening to that view while being open to the prospect that they may end up altering or even giving up their original view.
In the former example the courage and discomfort is put on the individual to step forward and have a different view. In the latter, where people are invited to have a different view, the effort and courage to so do are reduced and thus the inclusion of diverse perspectives (and better outcomes) are more readily achieved.
Imagine you’re that woman on the train – you don’t know if those sitting in the priority seats have a need you can’t see, or if they will react argumentatively, and you’re stuck on the train in close proximity! Is it worth the risk?
If the onus in our society was on everyone on that train to offer their seat to people who look like they need it more – the norm will become to offer your seat, rather than to close your eyes to anyone around you who makes you feel a little uncomfortable that you are sitting and they are not. I believe that, if it becomes the norm to offer, this will make it far easier for people to ask.
Here’s the tip – if you feel uncomfortable – offer your seat! Give them the opportunity to say, ‘no thanks’.
Translate this to a workplace setting:
If people become more comfortable in the knowledge that others will invite their view and encourage different perspectives to be voiced, the richness of conversation and outcomes will flow. People will feel more inclined to offer their views and a culture of inclusion will thrive.
If you’re advocating a position and you’re feeling like there are others in the room who have a different view – ask them for it. Don’t just keep talking in the hope that they won’t have the guts to speak up…
- Invite their view.
- Listen to what they have to say
- Respond respectfully
What they have to say may expand your view, bring information or a perspective you hadn’t considered. It may be something you have considered, in which case you can share with them your considerations to date. They will feel heard and you will have opened the door for further constructive dialogue.
If someone is notoriously reserved or introverted, inviting their perspective rather than waiting to be challenged will have a significant impact on their ability to contribute to the discussion – and this will have a significant impact on your culture of inclusion and outcomes gained from diversity of thought.
So – don’t wait for others to ask.
Put the onus on yourself to offer your seat, and invite different perspectives.