Flexible work – Women need to Man Up!
And how to do it…
If you’re a woman looking for a new year’s resolution for 2017 here’s one to think about:
When I recently interviewed over 30 executives to find out how they make flexible work work I was struck by the gender difference. There are very few ways in which I think a woman should behave more like a man in the workplace – but when it comes to flexible work my research has shown that women need to MAN UP!
We know that women are less likely to negotiate their salary, ask for a pay rise or put their hand up for a promotion – but I have found that women are also less likely than men to confidently put their hand up for flexibility.
From my research 46% of men had negotiated their flexible work arrangement from the commencement of their current role versus only 22% of women. Two things I draw from this are: that men are not staying in roles or organisations when they’re not getting the flexibility they want; and that men are more comfortable asking for flexibility when negotiating for a new role.
I was also surprised when I asked participants what their driver of flexibility was and women overwhelmingly said ‘family responsibilities’, where men were more insistent that it was for ‘life balance’ (even when this involved accommodating family responsibilities).
There are a number of factors that feed into this, but when we confront the reality that women carry the guilt and feel a deep sense of obligation to both their employer and their family they perpetuate the sense of gratitude rather than entitlement. The risk if we don’t change this now is that we will fall further behind in our journey towards diversity and inclusion.
Without sacrificing humility and compassion, I think women can step up and more confidently practice greater workplace flexibility. The women I spoke to are committed to their jobs and love their work. Hold on to this. The challenge is then to shift your mindset so that it doesn’t get in your way.
A few tips for where to start: (OR Here’s a How to guide:)
- Build your sense of entitlement Recognise that you are grateful for the opportunity to come in later, leave earlier, work reduced hours etc. so that you can balance your family commitments. Then hold your head up high and do it – unapologetically.
- Choose balance Whether it is ageing parents, fitting in exercise or raising young children – shift your mindset from one of obligation to one of balance. These are all elements of your life to be juggled and balanced. And don’t forget to prioritise yourself every now and again – everyone gets a turn…
- Let go of the guilt It will not help you. Recognise it and re-wire your thinking. Sit down and think about what success looks like for you regarding the flexibility you need to balance your life. When you can articulate this, you can work out the logistics to make it happen. Then let go of the guilt, to work and to home. Seriously, this is a choice.
When more people see others more confidently and effectively working flexibly, I have no doubt that we will find a great evolution in workplaces where flexibility becomes the productive norm across the board.